Saturday, November 1, 2008

Fantasy Football: Dungeons and Dragons for Jocks.

It's sad to admit that after almost 3 decades of existence as a man this is the first year I've been in a Fantasy Football league. All I can say is I feel like the kids in high school with trenchcoats who ate lunch everyday in the school library playing Magic. We used to go watch sometimes and see if we could sneak a couple of their best cards and run off with them just to piss them off.

"May Orgunth the Sorceror of the Ura-Khai curse your future squaw's womb!!"

These were the kids that you'd see on TV bringing a gun to school and blasting away the football team. And now...I have become one of them.

Fantasy football is Dungeons and Dragons for jocks. And it's 10 times worse. I love the pseudo-strategy of the draft. And my favorite...people talking trash about how their team's gonna open up a can of World of Warcraft Whoop-A on you. I see guys at work that stare at their team all day long, talking about them in 1st person like they're Mike Ditka. "If A.P. can get me at least 100 yards and a score this Sunday, I'll be sittin pretty."

These FF guys are bigger nerds than the 1242 Club with their padded PVC-pipe weapons and their chainmail pretend fighting eachother at the Kiwanis park Wednesday nights. At least they get some excercise. But turns out...I'm addicted. And dang, this fighting looks fun. It's time to bury the fake-padded hatchet. See you guys on Wednesday.

No comments: